My Truth

I am opinionated (which is just another way of saying I think I am always right), proud, verbally explosive (captain in verbal combat), and oh yes before I forget I’m a woman. I wish I could remember all these things when I’m mad at my husband, at that time all I see are his faults. We’ve been married for 3 years this November, we are still pretty much newlyweds in a sense, sometimes we feel like veterans. Several months into our marriage, I felt “tricked”, this is not what I bargained for I thought nor the man I married I said to my husband. Truth is he is the man I married not the man I dated. To borrow from Paul Tripp’s teachings, the dating game is like used car sales. You are trying so hard to sell yourself to the other person that you do things you wouldn’t otherwise do, like spending hours watching a football game or window shopping.

Another thing I realized is that, when dating you see each other only periodically, however when you are married you practically breathe the same air. This new found intimacy, although sometime exhilarating, can become stifling causing irritations. If you find yourself exasperated after a few months of being married, know that you are not alone. Marriage is one of the most beautiful unions that God created to make us know him better. I learned something profound in one of my marriage counseling lessons. When you shake a water bottle, water come out. Nothing comes out of us that is not already there. We may think that our spouse causes us to respond in a certain way, however if we respond in anger it is because there is anger in us. My husband makes me mad by leaving crumbs on the counter top, he did not put anger in me, his actions may have shaken me up like the water bottle, however my response is entirely my responsibility.

Taking responsibility for my actions in this way helps me to watch the way I respond to the situations that arise in our marriage. This principle can be used for whatever relationship you are in, as a son, daughter, girlfriend and friend. So this is my truth, I hope it helps some of you out there.
Eternally blessed,
Tsotsoo